Hoersfest 2: The return of Hoersfest

It’s here! Again! The best event of the year if you are a broke-brained hipster who can’t decide if they like music or just memes about music!

For those following along at home, this festival is intended as a well-needed reminder that MUSIC IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Lineup lovingly curated by the idiot behind Petrol Hoers.

Free entry, donation bucket for bands so make sure to bring plenty of bands to donate.

TROPHY FOR BEST FANCY DRESS!

LOOK UPON THIS LINEUP YE MIGHTY AND DESPAIR:

Actual Cannibal Jonny Gill – An ambitious multimedia production

A Short Dark Stranger – High (well, low to medium) kicks a specialty.

Ballhammer – Insert ball pun here

Ben Atomgrinder – Very drunk

Chainsaw Penis – Progressive blackened transcendental avant-garde shitdeathgrindocarinacore

Grindcore Cake Makers – Don’t eat too much or you’ll ruin your tea

Hammer Smashed Hits – All the best metal party bangers

Pin The Tail On The Donkey – Literally a children’s party game. Might run a knockout league or something.

Pat Butcher – An actual proper band

Petrol Hoers – Please somebody help me I can no longer remove the mask

The Newcastle upon tyne Speed Donk Experience – A bit like a donk experience except faster

The Paul Taylor Experience – A post-neo-avant-garde performance art troupe exploring emotions such as joy, fear, inadequacy and self loathing via the medium of covering 80s rock and pop bangers with any tat instrument they can get their hands on.

The Sex Cripples – “Not as bad as I expected”

Head to www.thefulfordarms.com for more info